Grab a cup of coffee, or a snack you love, and come sit with me while we chat. There’s more to the story, my story, just like I’m sure there is with yours. You may have felt a little sappiness from my end in the beginning of this blog; many of my posts have reflected that. I promise there are more practical posts coming your way soon. <3

After spending years striving, running after a life I thought would sustain me, I finally hit the cold, hard ground (cue TSwift). Sometimes, when you’re chasing after all the wrong things, reality will hit you smack-dab in the face.

This was me. I was struggling, wondering: How do I keep up? How do I build the life I so crave? When will I reach the finish line?

When will I finally be there?

When Life Makes You Slow Down

When the busy life stopped squeezing my hand and released its grip, I came crashing down to find bare bones again.

It felt like I was starting from scratch.

I had been trying to keep up with the world and all of its demands all those years. I believe I was building up a different person than I actually was, doing what made sense in the world’s eyes. Maybe I just wasn’t asking myself the right questions about what I wanted to pursue and how to go about it.

This idea became most evident when my career shifted unexpectedly; most notably because we place a lot of weight on what we do. Often times, we don’t realize how much of our self-value depends on what we can produce.

We think, “Without my title, without my skillset… what do I have left?”

So we run and we strive to build ourselves into what the world tells us we should be…

You’re into fitness? You should be on a workout plan and drinking this pre-workout and this protein powder.

You’re an entrepreneur? This is how your schedule should look so you max out your day. Wake up early to get your workout in, walk your dog, and grab coffee from your local shop while you’re out. All before your 8am meeting.

If you’re chasing after content like this, it will leave you spinning until you’re dizzy. We cannot keep up with the world.

You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide

The career shift I mentioned before – I had been in a position where my skillset was stretched thin. It was the right path to pursue the career I believe I wanted, and I was doing what I could to keep up and work my way to *success.* In hindsight, I was disconnected and wasn’t checking in with myself while I was hustling after this job. When that position was no longer mine, my tunnel vision dissolved and I saw more opportunity and life around me. I had been so busy to get to where I was going.

(Slowing down in this role: If I could go back and do it again, I would tune into the places I was stretched thin and ask what was happening there. And I would pay attention to my strengths and weaknesses. That’s not to say, this opportunity wasn’t a chance to learn and grow.)

With my career and tunnel vision gone, I had to focus on new things. What else was I interested in? What were my skills? I started researching many topics. But the more I searched, the more I understood that this busyness just distracted me from the quality time and intentionality life needs.

When all the promotions, work events, and tasks are gone and passed, what are you left with? Who are you underneath it all?

I knew I needed to slow down when every still moment I had, I was reaching for something to keep me busy or distract me. Doom-scrolling, binging TV episodes. I didn’t like being still or sitting alone with my thoughts. This can be a sure sign of needing a check-in and slowing your system down. Typically if we’re looking to distract ourselves, we’re running.

There will be moments, or seasons, where you can’t help but avoid. When you are in “fight or flight,” it can be for good reason. We can’t avoid the inevitable. But operating in this stress longterm is dangerous.

It’s a Journey

We will never get there. No goal can be accomplished where we’ve finally made it. (Or I would argue so.)

Even after walking through that season of confusion after my job and learning much about myself, there is still a lot to uncover.

Everything is a journey; all of it a process to grow us.

Right when you think you’re getting the swing of things, some other obstacle comes along to shake you up.

Recently, my husband and I went on a trip to visit some long-missed friends, as well as spend quality time with family. We were thriving on this trip, if you will. Splurging on fun food, while still keeping a good focus; moving our bodies each day; soaking up time with loved ones.

Once we arrived back home from traveling, we were in a bit of a whirlwind, but still felt like we’d be back on track in no time. However within 48 hours of being home, life took a turn for us. We’d gone to a doctor’s appointment that left us wondering with unanswered questions. Later on, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. In just those couple of weeks, we learned that it was a mild case and his ability to bounce back was high. During that time, though, it was a rollercoaster.

We came home from that trip, hopeful and inspired; also anticipating another trip a couple weeks out.

But life has a funny way of teaching you things.

My priorities shifted in an instant. I put down writing for those weeks. We ate what was convenient in the time being. And all of a sudden, I was wondering how my healthy husband, who was running often, had been carrying a disease with him all this time.

It seemed like all of the health practices we had followed and the effort channeled towards balance had just been thrown out the window. Forget time in the sun and getting a workout in, I just need to get out of bed and eat. When your perfect routine and checklist are gone, who are you underneath?

During all of this, I learned about myself, my husband, and walking through a hardship. Each of these, a process to grow us.

**You might recall my previous post. Once the highs of this event passed, it was difficult to find our energy again physically. When you look to the world for hope and distraction, you come up empty. If you’re not allowing time for yourself to be still, you will burn out.**

When All is Dead & Gone

With each of these seasons, another layer of myself is peeled back (cue… Shrek?).

Drastic events like these shake up your daily life to help you see what is most important in life. All the fluff falls away.

It leaves you asking, “Where does my identity lie?”

When we strive too long and avoid slowing down to reconnect to ourselves, we operate with a surplus of cortisol and minimize our sustainability. We can function on stress for a time to push through, but living in this mode will only end in burnout. It disconnects us from the natural world; spending the majority of our days indoors, putting more noise into our ears anytime we’re in nature, soaking up AC when it’s hot outside. We were designed to be in tune with nature.

If we live and operate dictated by a device where we find our fulfillment, our decisions, and our community or belonging, we will slowly become more disconnected from ourselves and those around us. We are called to be still. How often are you still?

These questions are a challenge to ask yourself.

Do you choose investment and discipline over comfort? And are you practicing balance and intentionality over perfection?

We learn about ourselves in these hardships, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

So I’ll ask, when was the last moment life stopped you and made you slow down? Tune into your soul.

OG